We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize