I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
