my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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