It's like a parade of train wrecks.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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