Have you finally orgasmed yet?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
