definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just made my gag reflex go away.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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