Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
