I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
