I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
