apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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