he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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