Having a random hookup so left but love u
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
