I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
