you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I bet he comes in French.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
