I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My ass is underappreciated
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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