Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
kristin has been a bad kristin
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
