Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize