I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
