Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize