he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
