your room smells of hookers.
And success
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
