what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
dude. I can hear the air.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
