U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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