you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
