I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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