What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
