so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
