I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
