the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
