yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
