So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Non-Jews are for practice
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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