Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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