Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
