hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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