Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
