She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
