And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
