he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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