i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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