I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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