How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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