mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
