Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize