tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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