I hate all girls vehemently.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
