Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just gift wrapped bread.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
