Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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