Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When are your genitals available?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
