so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
