i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
