dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize