I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
