I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
