Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize