There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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