His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
