So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
