Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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