the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
