We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
