she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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