Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
