Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
